being a giving person is how you achieve success in the first place, however you define success.
By “be a giver,” Bob and John mean be a giving person, period: one who gives thought, gives attention, gives care, gives focus, gives time and energy—gives value to others. Not as a quid pro quo, not as a strategy to get ahead, but because it is, in and of itself, a satisfying and fulfilling way to be.
while the world may at times appear to be a dog-eat-dog place, there is actually a set of much kinder and vastly more powerful principles operating beneath the surface of casual appearances.
‘I believe that a person can reach a certain level of success without being particularly special. But to get really, really big, to reach the kind of stratospheric success we’re talking about, people need to have something on the inside, something that’s genuine.’”
“Please don’t misunderstand me. There’s nothing wrong with making money. Lots of it, in fact. It’s just not a goal that will make you successful.”
“That’s the secret to your success? Your Trade Secret? Giving?” “Indeed,” said Pindar.
“You see,” Pindar continued, “the majority of people operate with a mindset that says to the fireplace, ‘First give me some heat, then I’ll throw on some logs.’ Or that says to the bank, ‘Give me interest on my money, then I’ll make a deposit.’ And of course, it just doesn’t work that way.”
Trying to be successful with making money as your goal is like trying to travel a superhighway at seventy miles an hour with your eyes glued to the rearview mirror.”
You get what you expect.” Joe frowned again, trying to mentally test out the truth of this last thought. Pindar leaned back and sipped his coffee, watching Joe. After a moment’s silence, he continued. “Or put it another way: What you focus on is what you get. You’ve heard the expression ‘Go looking for trouble and that’s what you’ll find’?”
“Ultimately, the world treats you more or less the way you expect to be treated.”
“I need you to agree that you will test every Law I show you by actually trying it out. Not by thinking about it, not by talking about it, but by applying it in your life.”
“And that’s not all. You must apply each Law right away, the same day you first learn it.”
“Joe, no offense, but you don’t have that power.” Joe looked confused. “I mean, the power to waste my time. Only I can do that. And truthfully, it’s a vice I gave up a long time ago. The reason for my Condition is that I don’t want to see you wasting your time.”
“It never hurts to be kind to people,”
very useful thing to remember: appearances can be deceiving.” He slid over to make room for the chef. “Truth is, they nearly always are.”
Joe understood that Pindar had emphasized the word “experience” for a reason. It was not the hot dogs but the person serving the hot dogs that had vaulted the young man to such popularity. Not the dining—the dining experience. Ernesto had made buying a hot dog into an unforgettable event.
“And that’s the Golden Rule of business,” added Pindar. “All things being equal—” Ernesto finished the phrase: “—people will do business with and refer business to those people they know, like and trust.”
“But a great restaurant—ahh, a great restaurant strives to defy imagination! Its goal is to provide a higher quality of food and service than any amount of money could possibly pay for.”
“Your true worth is determined by how much more you give in value than you take in payment.”
“The first question should be, ‘Does it serve? Does it add value to others?’ If the answer to that question is yes, then you can go ahead and ask, ‘Does it make money?’”
“All the great fortunes in the world have been created by men and women who had a greater passion for what they were giving—their product, service or idea—than for what they were getting.
“The First Law determines how valuable you are,” Nicole continued. “In other words, your potential income, how much you could earn. But it’s the Second Law that determines how much you actually do earn.”
the Second Law, the Law of Compensation: “Your income is determined by how many people you serve and how well you serve them.” She paused, then added, “Or to put it another way, Your compensation is directly proportional to how many lives you touch.”
If you want more success, find a way to serve more people. It’s that simple.”
“Sometimes you feel foolish, even look foolish, but you do the thing anyway.”
“Survive, save and serve?” Joe interrupted. “Sounds like a motto.” “It easily could be,” agreed Pindar. “They are the three universal reasons for working. Survive—to meet your basic living needs. Save—to go beyond your basic needs and expand your life. And serve—to make a contribution to the world around you.”
“When you base your relationships—in business or anywhere else in your life—on who owes who what, that’s not being a friend. That’s being a creditor.”
“Here it is, Joe. The Third Law, the Law of Influence: “Your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people’s interests first.”
“Because if you place the other person’s interests first, your interests will always be taken care of. Always. Some people call it enlightened self-interest. Watch out for what other people need, with the faith that when you do, you’ll get what you need.”
“Have you ever wondered what makes people attractive? I mean, genuinely attractive? Magnetic?” He pushed on the big glass door and they walked outdoors into the warm September day. “They love to give. That’s why they’re attractive. Givers attract.”
A genuinely sound business principle will apply anywhere in life—in your friendships, in your marriage, anywhere. That’s the true bottom line. Not whether it simply improves your financial balance sheet, but whether it improves your life’s balance sheet.”
“I learned something that day. When I said that my life as a mom, wife and household manager left me with nothing the marketplace wanted, I was wrong. There was something else I’d learned over those years, and that was how to be a friend. How to care. How to make people feel good about themselves. And that, my friends, is something the marketplace wants very much—always has, always will.
“People, remember this: no matter what your training, no matter what your skills, no matter what area you’re in, you are your most important commodity. The most valuable gift you have to offer is you.
The most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself.
“It’s not better to give than to receive. It’s insane to try to give and not receive. “Trying not to receive is not only foolish, it’s arrogant. When someone gives you a gift, what gives you the right to refuse it—to deny their right to give?
“At this instant, all over the globe, all of humanity is breathing in oxygen and breathing out carbon dioxide. So is the rest of the animal kingdom. And right now, at this instant, all over the globe, the billions and billions of organisms of the plant kingdom are doing the exact opposite—they’re breathing in carbon dioxide and breathing out oxygen. Their giving is our receiving, and our giving is their receiving. “In fact, every giving can happen only because it is also a receiving.”
Because human beings are born with appetite, nothing is more naturally geared toward being receptive than a baby, and if the secret of staying young, vibrant and vital throughout life is to hang on to those most precious characteristics we all have as children but which get drummed out of us—like having big dreams, being curious and believing in yourself—then one of those characteristics is being open to receiving, being hungry to receive, being ravenous to receive!”
“So the secret to success,” Joe went on, “to gaining it, to having it, is to give, give, give. The secret to getting is giving. And the secret to giving is making yourself open to receiving.
They sat together in silence for a long moment, contemplating the Law of Receptivity and the glorious irony of creation that tucks its greatest truths carefully inside of paradoxes.
The key to effective giving is to stay open to receiving.
THE FIVE LAWS OF STRATOSPHERIC SUCCESS
THE LAW OF VALUE Your true worth is determined by how much more you give in value than you take in payment. THE LAW OF COMPENSATION Your income is determined by how many people you serve and how well you serve them. THE LAW OF INFLUENCE Your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people’s interests first. THE LAW OF AUTHENTICITY The most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself. THE LAW OF RECEPTIVITY The key to effective giving is to stay open to receiving.
If there is an opposite to a go-giver, it is not a go-getter but the person who is constantly on the lookout for how the world can serve them and who puts that focus in front of everything else—you might say, a go-taker.
by “giving” we mean “being a giving person, period: one who gives thought, gives attention, gives care, gives focus, gives time and energy—who gives value to others.”
Being a good person (however you define that) matters a great deal. It’s just not what determines your income. Money is not a measure of your goodness or worthiness; it is a measure of your impact.
Placing others’ interests before your own, “making your win about the other person,” as Sam says, doesn’t mean negating your own needs and interests. It means trusting that when you focus on others, your needs will be taken care of, too. And as people come to know you as someone who has others’ interests first, that’s exactly what will happen!
A great way to practice the Law of Receptivity: the next time someone pays you a compliment, instead of getting all embarrassed and denying it or saying “Oh, it’s nothing,” just receive it! Smile, say thank you and notice how you feel as you receive.