So come on! If you’re with me, then you agree life’s just too short not to sleep when you feel like it. So lower those blinds, unplug that alarm clock, and nap strong, nap long, and nap proud, my friends.
It seems like maybe these tiny little moments make an awesome difference in many of our rushed, jam-packed lives.
With so much sad news and bad news pouring down upon us, it’s fun to stop for a minute and share a universal high five with the rest of humanity.
Seeing a cop on the side of the road and realizing you’re going the speed limit anyway Stress level goes up. Stress level goes down.
You will never be as young as you are right now.
Strategic trick-or-treating Trick-or-treating ain’t no game. No, it’s a life lesson in goal setting, planning, and tactical execution. Kids who master trick-or-treating go on to become successful world leaders. Kids who don’t could possibly do the same but have less chocolate to show for it. The point is that chocolate is delicious, and you should fill your pillowcase with as much as possible. You just have to master the Four Rules of Strategic Trick-or-Treating first: 1. Mo’ money, mo’ problems. In terms of where to go trick-or-treating, there’s always a lot of chatter about driving over to the rich neighborhood for the big score. People would have you believe that the rich enjoy lavishing children with giant cakes and full cases of root beer. But that’s a lie! Rich people got rich by being cheap, and their massive front yards will just slow you down. That’s right, you’ll be navigating wrought-iron fences, duck-shaped hedges, and koi ponds instead of ringing doorbells. Aim for the new neighborhood with little kids and the all-important densely packed homes. Dress for success. Trick-or-treating is a race against the clock, so set yourself up for success by wearing running shoes and avoiding masks that hurt your visibility. No ballet slippers, high heels, or sandals. No robes, capes, or togas. And none of those cheap plastic masks from the dollar store that attach with a thin elastic and a couple of staples. Basically, keep simplifying your costume and timing yourself running up and down the basement stairs until you’ve found a winner. If in doubt, go as Carl Lewis. Partner up. It will be tempting to form a trick-or-treating posse and move from door to door as one big, shifty amoeba of fluorescent tape and face paint. Resist that temptation. The amoeba will cause two problems: First, the group will travel at the speed of the slowest member. That means one kid with flat feet and asthma ruins everyone’s night. Second, a big group triggers the rationing instinct in the people handing out candy. They become overwhelmed and default to the “One for you, one for you” candy-for-everyone technique. You don’t want that. So instead, you need to pick one partner. Qualifications for that lucky someone include a low resting heart rate, winning smile, and really cute costume. The last one is key. The costume should trigger the “Aren’t you adorable!” reflex that inspires extra candy. Gold standard here is a fit toddler in a ladybug costume with new Reeboks. Timing is everything. The last rule is all about the three key stages of Halloween candy collecting. Times may vary depending where you’re from, but they go something like this: • The 4-6 p.m. Start Up: You must be very active and running around here before the street gets too busy. This is your time to hit houses at the peak of their inventory levels, when people may hand out more because of excess supply or poor foresight. • The 6-7 p.m. Rest Up: Streets are at their busiest.
Strategic trick-or-treating Trick-or-treating ain’t no game. No, it’s a life lesson in goal setting, planning, and tactical execution. Kids who master trick-or-treating go on to become successful world leaders. Kids who don’t could possibly do the same but have less chocolate to show for it. The point is that chocolate is delicious, and you should fill your pillowcase with as much as possible. You just have to master the Four Rules of Strategic Trick-or-Treating first: 1. Mo’ money, mo’ problems. In terms of where to go trick-or-treating, there’s always a lot of chatter about driving over to the rich neighborhood for the big score. People would have you believe that the rich enjoy lavishing children with giant cakes and full cases of root beer. But that’s a lie! Rich people got rich by being cheap, and their massive front yards will just slow you down. That’s right, you’ll be navigating wrought-iron fences, duck-shaped hedges, and koi ponds instead of ringing doorbells. Aim for the new neighborhood with little kids and the all-important densely packed homes. Dress for success. Trick-or-treating is a race against the clock, so set yourself up for success by wearing running shoes and avoiding masks that hurt your visibility. No ballet slippers, high heels, or sandals. No robes, capes, or togas. And none of those cheap plastic masks from the dollar store that attach with a thin elastic and a couple of staples. Basically, keep simplifying your costume and timing yourself running up and down the basement stairs until you’ve found a winner. If in doubt, go as Carl Lewis. Partner up. It will be tempting to form a trick-or-treating posse and move from door to door as one big, shifty amoeba of fluorescent tape and face paint. Resist that temptation. The amoeba will cause two problems: First, the group will travel at the speed of the slowest member. That means one kid with flat feet and asthma ruins everyone’s night. Second, a big group triggers the rationing instinct in the people handing out candy. They become overwhelmed and default to the “One for you, one for you” candy-for-everyone technique. You don’t want that. So instead, you need to pick one partner. Qualifications for that lucky someone include a low resting heart rate, winning smile, and really cute costume. The last one is key. The costume should trigger the “Aren’t you adorable!” reflex that inspires extra candy. Gold standard here is a fit toddler in a ladybug costume with new Reeboks. Timing is everything. The last rule is all about the three key stages of Halloween candy collecting. Times may vary depending where you’re from, but they go something like this: • The 4-6 p.m. Start Up: You must be very active and running around here before the street gets too busy. This is your time to hit houses at the peak of their inventory levels, when people may hand out more because of excess supply or poor foresight. • The 6-7 p.m. Rest Up: Streets are at their busiest.
Popping Bubble Wrap.