Modern Romance
Aziz Ansari, Eric Klinenberg

Modern Romance

supplementals

10 highlights

Initially, we are attracted to people by their physical appearance and traits we can quickly recognize. But the things that really make us fall for someone are their deeper, more unique qualities, and usually those only come out during sustained interactions.

As a medium, it’s safe to say, texting facilitates flakiness and rudeness and many other personality traits that would not be expressed in a phone call or an in-person interaction.

There’s something uniquely valuable in everyone, and we’ll be much happier and better off if we invest the time and energy it takes to find it.

It made me wonder whether our ability and desire to interact with strangers is another muscle that risks atrophy in the smartphone world.

This third woman has created uncertainty, which social psychologists have found can lead to strong romantic attraction.

The couples that did the novel and exciting activities showed a significantly greater increase in relationship quality.

But our research also convinced me that too many people spend way too much time doing the online part of online dating, not the dating part.

Through a series of experiments, Iyengar has demonstrated that an excess of options can lead to indecision and paralysis.

Oddly enough, for men the most effective photos are ones with animals, followed by showing off muscles (six-packs, etc. ), and then photos showing them doing something interesting. Outdoor, drinking, and travel photos were the least effective photo types.

For women in this era, it seemed that marriage was the easiest way of acquiring the basic freedoms of adulthood.